Tuesday, 13 September 2011

Sunflowers in London


I've been feeling a little down lately. A few months ago I had a minor 'Big C' scare and six weeks ago I had to have something called a Cone Biopsy. (Those of you who wish to know all the gory medical details, look here).

It's been inconvenient not to be able to carry anything, temper my walking (I don't like to saunter), constantly rest and call in a few sick days at the book shop. (True to form, the people at England's Lane Books have been wonderfully understanding). Because I've not been able to exercise, I've put on weight. The joy of it. As the weeks have gone by, I've become more and more frustrated with my body's incapacity to heal. I've basically become an angry old bitch. There have been moments when I've even wished I was a man. I know, it's been bad.

Yesterday at the book shop I got talking to one of the customers, and we discovered that we both had the same procedure done. I'm not in the habit of telling people about my op at the shop - honestly, I don't, but yesterday somehow it just poured out of me. And the lady was so nice; she just looked at me and said, 'It was awful, the whole healing process took at least six weeks, but after that it was all well. Back to normal. So don't worry!'

I apologised for burdening her with my health issues (see how English I've become!). She smiled and said, 'Please, I know exactly how it is.'

And today when I woke up I did feel normal. All symptoms I've had following the operation are gone. And when I was walking to Hampstead Village to meet a friend for lunch, I saw these sunflowers and felt alive and well again.

13 comments:

Joanne said...

Ouch. But I'm sure your Finnish self would have been even more British. Glad you're back and smiling.

Helena Halme said...

Thank you Joanne. My Finnish self would never even have entertained telling a stranger about my health issues...xx

Anonymous said...

Happy to know that you are finally feeling better :-)

Mrs P said...

That's great news and sorry that you didn't share your worries sooner, I suppose it is personal to put out there, but a trouble shared is a trouble halved as we Brits say! x

reddskinbags said...

oh no no wonder you've been down! and to want to be a man?! eeuugghh!
glad you're feeling better. thanks for sharing!
k

Crosby Kenyon said...

Sorry to know about your predicament. Seems as though the right person came into your shop at the right time.

mettebassett.com said...

I'm so glad to hear that you're feeling better. Health scares like that are horrible.

And after having had mastitis three times now I completely understand why you would want to swap gender.

Will try to swing by the bookshop soon with Mr Elliot. xx

Helena Halme said...

Thank you so much for your lovely comments.

Mette, I'm so sorry to hear you've not been well. I've never had mastitis but understand it' very painful. Hope you feel better soon, it'll be lovely to see you and the little one! xx

Alison Cross said...

Sorry to hear about your health troubles, Helena. Sometimes just sharing them - getting the frustrating thoughts OUT of your body - can help the healing process.

Sending you love and hugs from wet, dark Scotland (((hug)))

Ali x

Tulisan Dari Manjung said...

Hello Helena, I am from Malaysia... Nice to read your blog... I follow you start from today... Keep writing your experience .....maybe we can be a good online friend soon...who knows..... :)

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Glad to hear you're doing better, it's just horrible having something so possibly serious hanging over you, I know! Now you can have some fun again. Don't sweat the few pounds. They'll come off when they're ready. :)

Helena Halme said...

Thank you for all your lovely messages - it warms my heart to think that i have so many online friends. Much love to your all.

Helena xx

l0ve0utl0ud said...

Dear Helena, I'm really glad to know that you are feeling better (and that everyone - including the customers - at ELB have been so understanding). I find that nature always gives me energy and puts me in a happier mood, so this could be the perfect time to make the most of the beautiful autumn in Hampstead Heath! With love, Polina