Wednesday, 26 May 2010

Round and round in circles

I am beginning to annoy myself. I bet I'm also annoying you my lovely readers, for which I apologise.

But, as the Big Move date draws still closer we haven't decided where we're moving to. One day I think I've made up my mind and then the next I'm totally undecided. Naturally the location of our new life depends on many practical matters as well as where we'd like to be. There are so many factors to consider sometimes I think my head is about to explode. But I know that if I had a burning desire to be in one place, that would steer the decision-making and the other practical matters would solve themselves. Or even if Husband and I violently disagreed about where we'd like to be, we could argue our corner and have done with it. But no, there are so many cities we'd both like to live in.

It's not as if the decision to leave the country and move to a city hasn't been on our minds for a while. I've been talking about moving for at least the five years, possibly more.  But then there were always the children's schools to consider, or else the business kept us here. Now we don't have either of those big restrictions we are freer to decide.

And I think this is the crux of the problem. In theory we could be anywhere. With modern communications we can work from several places in the UK, as long as it's a fair driving distance from London. Or we could even pave a new life for ourselves in Stockholm or Helsinki.

When anyone asks where we are moving to, Husband says, 'Wherever my Wife was last weekend.' As if it was all down to me. In a way, I know this is my time to decide; after all I've spent all of our married life following him around the UK from Scotland, to Portsmouth to Plymouth to the sticks.

If only I knew where I'd like to live the most.

Perhaps this is a Blonde problem, perhaps if I coloured my hair I'd suddenly become a much more decisive person.  Nah, that's too radical.

I've written so many lists with the pros and cons on the various locations I'm running out of paper. (Not really, that's a lie; or rather use of the artistic license). The 'What If' -scenarios are getting so fantastical that I could write a novel about our future life in each of the cities we're considering. (That's actually true and I may yet do this). The bottles of wine we're consuming discussing our future is keeping the local supermarket happy and the recycling boxes full. I have permanent bags under my eyes from the lack of sleep. And I'm putting on weight. You see how I'm getting to be quite fed up with myself?

Here I'm demonstrating how I am now larger than a European car. Next will be a front door, a small cottage and so on....

Whilst I'm praying for a vision to be shown to me by a higher power during the few hours of sleep that I manage each night, I try to remember that this move is what I have been wanting for a long time, and it is wholly a good thing.  I know we're lucky, because we do have a choice. I know there are lot of people who'd like to move but cannot. I was one myself for many years. So I'll try to remember that and try to make a decision soon. I promise. And I try not to go on about it too much longer. That's a promise too.


Wildernesschic said...

Helena you will know when you see it, I am a great believer in that.. I knew as soon as I saw this place and in all its glorious mess.. It was the opposite to what we had at the time too. So you will just know, take it from me..
I have to say I like the street you have photographed, that would totally appeal to me .. I can imagine a little open courtyard, with fountains behind those doors..bliss :)

North West London Girl said...

You go on about it as much as you like, I suspect you are writing out loud (like thinking out loud). I would imagine your stumbling as you don't want to get it wrong, you won't, your instinct will help you make the right decisions for you. I'd love to know what's on your list of requirements! xx

That's Not My Age said...

Oh I'd love to live in Stockholm, it's one of the most beautiful cities in the world - I'd go there if I were you! Just think of all the swimming and cycling you could do (in summer obviously, it's far too cold in winter) - you could even buy a small boat.

Style At Every Age said...

I just read your tweet, I think it is quite usual for prospective buyers to come and take a second look, I have done it and they may have short list and need to decide between a couple of properties, don't forget it is a big decision for them as well xx

NYC Fashionista said...

What a wonderful "problem" to have.. Maybe it would be easier if you did not think about this move as a permanent decision. I was going through something similar here in New York a while back, not being able to decide should we stay in the city or move to the suburbs. This went on for years! We kept looking at houses, and then got scared and started looking at apartments. Then when we could not find an apartment that was large enough for our price range, we started looking at houses again. This went on for a couple of years! Until we finally got fed up and just made the decision to move to the suburbs.. We get the keys to our house next week, will then start renovating, and are planning to move in the end of July. I am so happy and have no regrets. I am looking forward to living in the suburbs and trying out a different lifestyle.

Unknown said...

Ruth, I do hope you're right...

Thank you, NW Girl, I'm sure you're right, actually feel a lot better after writing this.

That's Not My Age - Stockholm IS nice....but you're not helping!!!!

Looking Fab, I do hope the buyers aren't reconsidering as we've already accepted their offer...

NYC Fashionista, Good luck in your new home, funny enough we're doing the same but the other way around, moving INTO a city...hopefully.

This has helped me so much, thank you all.

Lots of love from your true friend (this is for you particularly, Ruth ;)))))xx

Metropolitan Mum said...

Helena, you are tall, not large. There is a big difference!
We wanted to move, too, and decided to stay another two years or so as we couldn't make up our minds. I am quite happy with our decision. Wherever you go, good luck!

The Divorcee said...

I am absolutely rubbish at making decisions. I am blonde. Clichés being clichés there's probably a correlation...! But it's a huge decision you're making so it's understandable that it's not immediately forthcoming. Good luck with all xx much love